Blue October, Volume Two
by Woodland Goddess
Summary: Snape walks the edge of a blade, the bridge between love and hate, between laughter and suffering. His life is, like most things, a tale of secrets and deceit, of promises fulfilled and broken, of hard choices and mistakes with disastrous results. This is Part Two of the story of Severus Snape, a soul at war with itself.


Title: Blue October, Volume Two – Chapter One.

Author: Woodland Goddess.

Rated: M

Disclaimers: Publically recognisable characters and settings don't belong to me; I'm just playing in JK Rowling's sandbox. Any original characters that may or may not be used throughout this fic are mine, however.

Summary: Severus Snape walks the edge of a blade, the bridge between love and hate, between laughter and suffering. His life is, like most things, a tale of secrets and deceit, of promises fulfilled and broken, of hard choices and mistakes with disastrous results. This is Part Two of the story of Severus Snape, a soul at war with itself.

Warnings: Violence, Language, Bullying, Self-Harm, Character Death (multiple), Murder, FEELS, Nudity (possibly), Racism, Terrorism, Torture, Animal Cruelty, Homophobia. **The fic is clearly not a goblet of pumpkin juice. Severus will see and do some dark stuff. Have fun**.

Also note that 95% of first names and surnames used in this chapter come from Canon (found the names on the Wizard Cards); I just paired the first and surnames differently.

Chapter One: Dine With Destiny

Some people thought there were words to describe everything one could think and feel, but on the first of September, Severus learned something quite different. There were _no_ words, in _any_ language, to describe the feelings that erupted within him when the double doors opened, revealing the bright, welcoming interior of the Great Hall. All he knew was the surge of something soft and warm and wholesome and _wonderful_ in his chest, making his heart skip beats and stammer against his ribcage. His hands, burying into the fabric of his second-hand robes, had sweaty palms. His breath left him in a rush and came back in so forcefully it threatened to puncture his lungs.

Dark eyes wide with wonder flicked in every direction and took note of everything that lay before him: the candles that hovered above the tables, somehow never burning the students with their melted wax; the blue banners that hung from the ceiling, bearing a bronze eagle; the line of proud men and women at the staff table, where Hagrid – who had guided them across the lake – had taken his place; the way the walls seemed to stretch forever before fading into nothingness, becoming instead the impossible and wondrous night sky. Stars twinkled, small and golden, against the velvet darkness around them. Clouds drifted on a nonexistent breeze, some of them bunched together, others light and swirling on their own.

It was beyond anything he could have imagined.

The daydreams he had had when he was younger...none of it could compare to the vision that lay in front of him, bathed in history and beauty and so much burning potential that it left him feeling...tiny. As if he hardly mattered. Nervous teeth caught his bottom lip, digging in, keeping him grounded to the present.

Long scarlet robes billowed as Professor McGonagall strode down the centre aisle between the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables, leading the stream of first years towards the top of the room.

Some of the Hufflepuffs smiled at him when Severus glanced in their direction. He tore his gaze away quickly, unnerved by the kindness in their eyes, knowing it had to be a trick. People were never nice for the sake of being nice; there was always an agenda, whether they realised it or not. He focused on Professor McGonagall, who came to a stop in front of the staff table. The students flooded the free space in two neat rows of twenty. Severus watched avidly as Professor McGonagall drew up a four-legged stool with a flourish of her wand, which vanished within the folds of her sleeve afterwards.

The woman lifted a pointed hat from the staff table and set it down upon the stool. It was patched, frayed and dirty, reminding Severus of his own clothes; Petunia would never have approved of such a thing, he knew. Perhaps it was a good thing she was not a witch like her sister. She would probably have set it on fire just to get it out of her sight.

Complete silence settled over the Great Hall with a speed that left Severus surprised. The hat twitched suddenly, a tear in the fabric opening, not unlike a mouth.

To Severus' quiet horror, the infernal thing started singing. _I did not sign up for this_, he thought, staring at it like it was something foul. He glanced sideways at Lily, who seemed mystified by the hat. A small smile curled her pale pink lips. Rolling his eyes, he could not help but think she was far too easily entertained. As soon as the hat had finished its song, Professor McGonagall produced a scroll of parchment. "When I call your name," she said clearly, her Scottish accent strong, "you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted."

A thrill of anticipation shot through Severus, then, knowing it was only a matter of time until he would take his rightful place.

"Beamish, Vivian," called Professor McGonagall. Her pale green eyes lifted from the parchment, peering at the students before her. A willowy girl with short brown hair stepped forward immediately, her shoulders back and her head held high. It all went fine until she tripped over the hem of her robes and smacked her head off the stool. A heavy-set woman with curly grey hair half-lunged out of her chair and leaned over the staff table as the Great Hall gasped collectively.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake," muttered Professor McGonagall, tutting even as she made to help her up, inspecting her head with calm precision and a seemingly simple spell. "Be careful, you silly girl." Vivian Beamish flushed scarlet as the messy-haired boy from the train – who had butted his unwanted head in to a private conversation purely with the intention of insulting Slytherin House – laughed so hard he had to grip his side. Severus sneered at the horrid boy while Lily threw him a scathing look. The blond boy, from the compartment that Severus and Lily had fled to, elbowed the laughing one sharply in the ribs, eliciting a glare and a muffled expletive.

"Miss Beamish," inquired the heavy-set staff member, whose face held a quiet kindness and concern, "are you alright?"

"I-I'm fine," stammered the girl, keeping her gaze on the floor out of pure mortification. Professor McGonagall nodded in confirmation. The staff member settled back in her chair, still eyeing the girl with continued concern. Vivian Beamish rubbed her forehead gingerly with her hand; Severus knew there would be a monster of a bruise there in the morning. It was nothing compared to the humiliation, of course. After a gentle prodding from Professor McGonagall, she picked up the hat and sat upon the stool, slipping the hat on to her head.

A few moments passed, then, the hat shouted, "RAVENCLAW!"

The sorting continued without incident after that. Out of the first ten students, only one – an oily-haired boy named Falco Borgin – ended up in Slytherin. Arundhati Bharadwaj was the first to be sorted in to Hufflepuff. She was joined by: Edgar Bones – Severus vaguely remembered Mr Ollivander mentioning him in the wand shop the previous year; Greta Catchlove, whom he presumed was related to Athena Catchlove, the nice girl who had helped his mother up from the ground in Diagon Alley; and Reginald Cattermole, a reddish-brown-haired boy who looked remarkably like a ferret.

Sirius Black, the messy-haired boy's companion from the train, was the first to join the Gryffindor table, after what seemed like a war between himself and the hat on his head, during which the boy had scowled angrily. He was joined by: Alice Burke, a round-faced girl with dimpled cheeks and blonde hair to her chin. Vivian Beamish, in Ravenclaw, was joined by Arthur Brown, a fellow who fidgeted incessantly with the sleeves of his robes. The brown-haired boy, Ignatius Dragan, who was close friends with the blond boy from the compartment, was sorted in to Gryffindor, then, and suddenly it was Lily's turn.

Severus' stomach knotted as Lily stepped forward, her legs trembling almost imperceptibly. She sat on the stool, her green eyes seeking out Severus immediately. He caught her gaze with his and gave her a small smile, an attempt to reassure her. The young Wizard knew she was insecure, that she doubted her place at the school, and nothing he had said thus far had alleviated her fears, but that was alright. She would learn, in time, to believe in herself and her own abilities.

The smile Lily answered him with was warm and bright, but carrying hints of her underlying fear, flooding Severus' chest with something akin to affection.

Lily's hands gripped the stool tightly, her knuckles whitening as Professor McGonagall dropped the hat upon her head, the brim of it coming level with her eyebrows. There was no time to wonder how long it would take: barely a second had passed before the hat called out, "GRYFFINDOR."

Everything faded in that moment, the word like a kick to his stomach. A pained groan pushed its way past his constricted throat, muffled and tiny, barely heard. Severus had suspected the outcome, but he had hoped...

Well, he supposed what he had hoped no longer mattered.

Lily jumped up from the stool and tore off the hat. She pressed it into Professor McGonagall's hand as she raced past the group of unsorted first years, heading towards the Gryffindor table on the far right of the room, the Witch glanced back at him. There was a smile on her mouth, tinged with sadness. A hint of pity glittered in the depths of her eyes. His hands curling into fists at his sides at the sight of it, Severus tore his gaze away, his jaw clenching. The roll call continued in an unhurried fashion.

Ravenclaw claimed for its own: Cassandra Fancourt, a brunette who carried with her a certain air and grace that made Severus think of royalty; Marlene McKinnon, a golden-blonde girl with large oval eyes the colour of grass in the morning light; Paracelsus Ollivander, whose pale silver eyes and short curly hair were reminiscent of his father, the wand-maker; and Aarush Patil, whose face made Severus think of an angry owl. Hufflepuff accepted Adalbert Goshawk, a blue-eyed boy who seemed to have gone prematurely grey; Frederic Otherhaus, a soft-faced boy, whose fingers kept twitching, though he tried to hide them in his pockets; Primus Pinkstone, an unremarkable lad with an almost vacant stare; Dilys Shimpling, a heavy-set girl with a mole under her left eye; and Tilly Smethwyck, a smiling girl with purple-tinted glasses sitting on the bridge of her narrow nose.

Gryffindor grabbed up Beatrix Grunnion, a red-haired girl who seemed particularly cold as her hard brown eyes took note of everything before her; Remus Lupin, a tired-looking boy with light brown hair and murky green eyes; Mary MacDonald, bright-eyed and short-haired, who looked as though Christmas had come early. Peter and the horrid boy from the train, James Potter, were both sorted in to Gryffindor as well, the former shuffling over to the latter with a hopeful expression on his face.

Out of that group, Slytherin gained four more students; Gretchen Otherhaus, who, though she was his twin, seemed to be the complete opposite of Frederic, with sharp angles and a level of calmness that radiated from her in thick waves; Perpetua Parkinson, who looked spectacularly like her mother, Drusilla; Barberus Prince, whose dark eyes found Severus immediately, glittering with distaste; and Evan Rosier, a scrawny boy whose ears were ridiculously large and seemed more like jug handles than actual ears – Severus was amused by the mere sight of them and he barely managed to hide his chuckle in a cough.

Severus froze for a suspended moment when Professor McGonagall finally called his name. His insides turned heavy, weighing him down. Uncertain whether he was excited or anxious, he stepped forward and accepted the sorting hat from the Professor's proffered hand. Settling down on the stool, Severus abruptly placed the hat upon his head in an attempt to hide the trembling of his hand. "Well, well, well," purred a soft voice in his ear, "let's have a look, shall we?"

The young wizard had a horrible suspicion that he was about to be dissected by a madman.

"An insatiable thirst to prove yourself worthy, I see; your mother was the same. Your mind certainly isn't lacking, either," murmured the hat contemplatively. "A very good thing, indeed – you'll need your wits about you in the years to come. Loyalty in spades, my goodness; you could give dear Helga a run for her galleons. Oh, ho, ho," laughed the hat, "what's this? A spark of courage, oh, yes." Severus bit his lip when he heard that. On one hand, being sorted in to Gryffindor would bring him closer to Lily, but on the other...Potter would be there, too. "But where to put you?"

Hands gripping the stool tightly, Severus waited for the verdict.

"SLYTHERIN!"

A soft breath escaped him in a rush. Taking the hat from his head and practically tossing it into Professor McGonagall's clutches, Severus hurried to the far left. The Slytherins cheered, not quite as loudly as the Gryffindors had for their new members, but that hardly mattered. The young wizard felt something bloom in his abdomen as his fellows welcomed him to the table. Flicking his dark gaze across the Great Hall, Severus' eyes met Lily's as he took his place among his brethren. In that moment, though he would never be able to explain it, he felt as though he had sold his soul to something outside of his control.

The pat of Lucius' hand against his back brushed the feeling away swiftly. Severus tore his gaze away from Lily and glanced at the elder boy, noting the hint of surprise in grey eyes and the pleased quirk of his mouth. Suspicion niggled at the back of his mind and he shifted away slightly, eyeing Lucius with quiet distrust. The boy noticed and smirked, the expression more amused than anything else. When the next student was called forward, the pair of them focused upon the sorting once more.

There were few students left to be sorted, the blond boy from the compartment among them. When the boy, Victor Vance, was sorted in to Ravenclaw Severus felt a surge of relief. On the train, Vance had been constantly trying to draw Severus and Lily in to a conversation. His persistence had been unbelievably annoying, though Lily had grown comfortable talking to him in no time, while Severus had continued to feel like a stick in the mud, rigid and unmoveable. Vance and Dragan had shot nervous glances at him repeatedly. There was no doubt in his mind that, if Vance had been sorted in to Slytherin, Severus would have found absolutely no peace. He was well-rid of the nuisance.

After the sorting Headmaster Dumbledore rose behind the staff table, the tip of his long white beard brushing the surface of the table. Silence settled over the Great Hall immediately, like a warm blanket. It was clear the student populace held the Headmaster high in their regard. "To our new collection of first years," he said brightly, raising his arms in a manner that encompassed the entire hall, "welcome. To our veteran pupils, welcome back." Blue eyes twinkled behind half-moon glasses as his hands fell, fingertips joining his beard at the table. "I'm sure you're all famished, so I'll keep it concise: enjoy."

With a beatific smile on his face, the man sat back down. The Great Hall erupted in to applause, but the Gryffindors took the cake: some of them had the audacity to stand up as they clapped and whistled and roared. Severus threw a scathing look in their direction, wondering – most certainly not for the last time – if the Gryffindors had a chronic inability to not be a rowdy bunch of wild animals. At least Lily would be able to, potentially, calm them down a little; that was one perk of her sorting, Severus was sure.

"Salad?"

Startled, the young wizard turned to face Evan Rosier, the boy with the ridiculous ears. "No," said Severus, eyebrows knitting together in a wary frown, "thank you."

Wondering if he should be surprised at the appearance of such a feast, Severus reached for the nearest dish – a platter lined with slices of steaming beef. He took one, placing it carefully on his plate, dark eyes flicking threateningly towards the others at the table as though they might attempt to steal it. It was preposterous, of course, but he was unable to shake the feeling that he had to guard his meal with his life – particularly when Barberus Prince looked at him, a dark smile on his young face.

Dark eyes glittered irritably in response and a sneer twisted Severus' mouth. He could understand the detestation of Tobias Snape, but the young wizard had done nothing to deserve Barberus' ire. He supposed he should be thankful that most first years were beginners when it came to producing deliberate spells. It would have been a bad omen to be cursed during his first night's stay at the castle. Fortunately, he and Lily had seen fit to practice; Severus was certain he could take the vitriolic boy, if he had little choice but to do so.

Eating in relative silence, Severus spoke only when directly addressed. Namely, it was Lucius and Evan who spoke to him, gently prodding him with questions. The young wizard's responses were stilted and awkward, unused to speaking to other boys in a situation that held no aggression. Merwyn Wilkes, one of the other boys to be sorted into Slytherin, was almost as quiet as Severus, though he did shoot questioning glances at the others every now and then. In the privacy of his own mind, Severus rather thought the boy looked a bit like a hedgehog.

He consumed his meal slowly, savouring every bite and taking nothing for granted. He had only just finished his main course while others were on their second – and even _third_ – desserts. Sitting there amongst his brethren, it was fortunate he knew nothing of the future that awaited him.

**To Be Continued.**

Yeah, wow, that is a lot of warnings, but YAY Severus is back!

I'm aware the first chapter might be a little...boring...but I couldn't figure out how to fix it.

Feel free to let me know what you think, guys!


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